Do you ever get the feeling something is crawling on you? Like right now, I wrote that, and you probably felt some little twinge somewhere on your body. Or I could be really mean and say, right now, in your home, is an insect that will touch you at some point this week. Just lying in wait. Uncomfortable yet? Welcome to my weekend.
I was sitting on my couch watching TV and cruising through Pinterest, the kiddo was in bed, husband off doing whatever he does, I don’t know I’m not his keeper. Wait… Anyway, I had just got into that perfect butt crevice on the couch so I didn’t have to move for the next hour or so when I felt a flick in my hair. Now normally that doesn’t bother me. My hair is long and it has a mind of it’s own. I swear one day I’ll wake up and it will be trying to suffocate me. And when I run I look like this:
So I don’t normally notice when my hair flops onto my shoulder, but this time… something was different. I quickly flicked my hair back over my shoulder and out of the corner of my eye saw a dark spot travel right down into my cleavage. Then the creepy crawly feeling happened and I realized something was trapped, running circles in my sports bra. If you’re any sort of busty gal who wears a sports bra, you know sometimes you almost resort to greasing yourself out of those things. I jumped up from the couch squirming around, thanking God my blinds were closed, trying to rip off my shirt and bra while what I assumed was a spider was wreaking havoc in my… cushy spots. I probably looked insane. I wasn’t making a sound for fear of waking up the toddler tornado and having to explain to him why mommy is topless in the living room.
SO just to recap, I am spinning in circles, huffing and puffing, stuck halfway out of my shirt and a sports bra stuck halfway over my head. One of Satan’s hell hounds in the form of an insect is still running all over me, probably laughing. Finally I resort to punching and smacking myself to smash it against my own skin, which I realize is a terrible idea after the fact. But huzzah! The crawling has stopped. Tiny evil laughter has been silenced. Then I see it. You are no spider. You are a COCKROACH. A cockroach just tried to murder me. Okay maybe not homicide, but still, he attacked me. And now he was in tiny pieces all over my… cushy spots. Almost 4 years of diaper changing and I’ve never used so many baby wipes.
So why share this story on Military Monday on the ol’ blog? Well because it has everything to do with adjusting to this new place. We didn’t really have cockroaches on Camp Pendleton, we had large flying ones in Okinawa that I usually killed with boots or trapped in cup prisons, but the North Carolina breed are apparently sick, twisted, creepy little jerks. They wait until you’re comfortable and surprise you from behind, making sure to embarrass you as much as possible. One morning I’m going to stumble out of bed, walk to my mirror, and have one on my upper lip posing as a moustache. I’m telling you, NC cockroaches make it their final mission to make a fool of you before they die. In Okinawa it was geckos, and before that on Pendleton it was basically all of God’s creatures. There’s always going to be differences between stations, even if it’s something as silly as what pests you have to deal with. You’re always going to have to overcome them, whether it’s not making friends as easy as you thought, or having a battle royale against little invaders.
In my almost 26 years of life, I’ve overcome a lot. So I know in my heart that anything this new place throws at me, I’ll be able to get over it. Right now it’s simple things like the 3 hour time difference between here and home, dealing with the cold weather & rain, not being able to pick out color palettes for rooms, etc. I just smile at myself, knowing I may act funny immediately, but in the end I’ll be smarter and know how to handle similar situations I may encounter down the road.
Maybe not attack cockroaches, but I hope you understand my point.